well it's been a while since i was actually on here talking to you guys, i honestly don't even know if anyone reads what i put down to black and white on a broken screen. why does love have to hard so damn much? i kinda wish it would be there but not close enough to be able to touch bec if i didn't touch then i'd never of fell for them. they were amazing people that treated me like shit, and i hate them for it i honestly really do. i think it all just comes down to me wanting to be somebody to someone without have to worry about them leaving me for someone else. i wonder sometimes if someone is actually out there for me, if he's waiting for me like i'm waiting for him, maybe he dreams of me the way i dream of him. time will only tell what is to come for waiting so long. i'm almost 21 and i have yet to show anything that i've done on this earth, is there something bigger waiting for me out there? idk but what i do know is there i don't ming waiting for anything co come my way but then again nothing is going to just come to me if i don't go looking for it in the first place, life is such i hard thing to truely understand, i've tried to wrappe my head anround it before and it truely scared the hell out of me, now i just try not to think about it...okay i think i'm going to end this here i know i didn't talk about much but i will be back soon with something more to talk about i'm not sure when that will be but just keep yours eye's open